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5 Business Clichés Lord Sugar Might Fire You for Using!

It is what it is, so don’t drink the Kool-Aid and we’ll think outside the box when we open the kimono, but don’t let the grass grow too long on this one.

There they are in a single asinine sentence, and I feel totally disoriented after writing and reading it. Just for kicks and giggles, let’s break this bewildering and pointless sentence down into its five parts, to include possible translations.

  1. “It is what it is”

This defies translation and proves “it” should be used judiciously and cautiously, yet the word gets used twice in the same moronic sentence. We’re letting you go.

  1. “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid”

Perhaps it’s time we stop insensitively referring to a tragedy in which over 900 members of an American religious organisation died in 1978 after drinking poison, and in what their leader called a “revolutionary suicide” — so casually. It is particularly thoughtless to do so while we’re seated around a conference table, eating pastries and daydreaming about our upcoming kitchen renovations.

  1. “Thinking outside the box”

Who created this imaginary box that inhibits unique thought and how does one become trapped within it? Shut the damn thing and never open it again or place yourself in it when the custodian takes it out to the dumpster.

  1. “Open the kimono”

On second thought, keep it closed. Imagine saying this with a Japanese business woman seated at your meeting. Reveal information without requesting that unmentionable body parts be revealed…you’re terminated. Hasta la vista, baby.

  1. “Don’t let the grass grow too long”

Translation: get off your asses and get this done quickly. No need to be so polite by making insane pastoral references. Perhaps you’re better suited for the lawn care industry. Good luck.

Business people, you could do all your colleagues a favour and banish these five nonsensical clichés to that big conference room. If not, you risk being downsized, or canned, or made redundant, or sacked, or axed — yes, synonyms of the word “fired” can be as annoying as any other business clichés.

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